St. Louis, Missouri
Editors: Mohamed & Rashida Ziauddin
In the name of Allah, Most Gracious and Most Merciful
Looking at a member of the opposite sex (Stimulus) from a sexual perspective is equally discouraged (failing which the basal instincts of man are activated) possibly leading to one or more problems and/or ongoing dissatisfaction. Continues activation of above stimulus with no transformation of such wishes or fantasies into realistic action may lead to continued subtle personal dissatisfaction and significant increase in sexual frustration. Such a man can never fulfill all his instant sexual wishes and at times may even get into legal problems and possibly end up in jail.
Because sex is a taboo subject for many Muslims, any problems associated with it is literally pushed under the rug and not addressed. This generally results in the problem remaining untreated and silent ongoing suffering continues by the individual/patient with negative consequences.
In terms of problematic sexual behaviors, many Muslims are quick to label the individual with such problems as being "bad" "evil" & influenced by Shaitan and/or having received the curse of Allah.
As Editors of this issue, we strongly encourage the Ummah to see such problems from a CLINICAL perspective that then opens up a myriad of possibilities for being successfully treated. Below is an example under a case study.
Through this E-Zine of ISLAMIC SEXOLOGY whose advisory team consists of an Imam, Sexologist, Psychotherapist, Psychiatrist and Physician, we hope to contribute our two cents worth in the above field.
We believe that the above applies to sex too, because even a Muslim's sexual health and sexual life (in terms of recommendations such as sexual relations between husband and wife and prohibitions such as Zina are connected to Islam).
As referred to in the earlier paragraph, below is an example to highlight the consequences of ignoring the CLINICAL aspects of problematic sexual behavior.
A young non-practicing Muslim male who was a womanizer, alcoholic, drug addict finally began significantly changing his life in a dramatic new way after he was recommended by a friend to go out of town with tabligh jamaat. To many of those who knew him real well, his positive change was almost a miracle, thanks to the mercy and blessings of Allah he stopped above vices and seemed to move towards becoming a practicing Muslim.
The brother felt humiliated, disappointed and stressed leading to his complete disassociation from his local Tabligh jamaat. Having historically learnt to cope with stress by resorting to alcohol and drugs, he again relapsed and went back to his old vices.
Did the Ameer make the right decision to expel the brother from the tabligh jamaat ? Was the brother under the influence of Shaitan OR was the Ameer lacking the clinical knowledge to understand the clinical problem that the brother had ? If it was a clinical issue, was it fair for the brother to have received a punitive response ? Last but not the least, did the brother suffer from SEXSOMNIA (making sexual advances towards another person while asleep).
What is Sexsomnia?
Sexsomnia, also called sex sleep, was first identified in 1996 and is a classified sleep disorder characterized as a non-rapid-eye-movement (N-REM) parasomnia. (A parasomnia is a disorder characterized by partial arousal during sleep or during transitions between wake and sleep.)
Who Suffers from Sexsomnia?
Researchers believe that sexsomnia affects between one-tenth to one percent of the population, although this estimate might not be accurate, since so many people are too ashamed to seek help. At the present time, it is believed that mostly adult men suffer from the disorder.
Effects of Sexsomnia
These negative emotions often lead to tremendous stress. Clearly, relationships are put to the test when couples have to deal with this awkward and sometimes dangerous problem. Also, many sexsomnia sufferers are concerned about legal issues, as sexual advances occurring during sleep can be unwanted and violent.
Treatment of Sexsomnia:
A number of ancient sex manuals exist, including Ovid's Ars Amatoria, the Kama Sutra of Vatsyayana, the Ananga Ranga and The Perfumed Garden for the Soul's Recreation. However, none of these treated sex as the subject of a formal field of scientific or medical research. One of the earliest sex researchers prior to the 20th century sexology movement was Richard Freiherr von Krafft-Ebing, whose book Psychopathia Sexualis, published in 1886, recorded a dizzying array of sexual anomalies.
In 1978 Klein published The Bisexual Option, a groundbreaking psychological study of bisexuality and in 1998, he founded the American Institute of Bisexuality (AIB) to encourage, support and assist research and education about bisexuality.
The late Vern Bullough was a historian of sexology, as well as a researcher in the field.
Sexology, as currently defined, is largely a 20th and 21st century phenomenon. Sexology relates to a number of other fields of study:
(1) Several fields of medicine, including andrology, gynaecology, and the anatomy of the sex organs
(2)The psychology, sociology, and anthropology of sexual behavior
(3)Neuroscience can be used to study many basic sexual reflexes, and is increasingly relevant to studying more complex sexual preferences and behaviors
(4)Psychiatry studies paraphilia, as well as disorders of sexual behavior when they impact on clinical conditions or reach a point where they become dysfunctional or sources of psychological difficulty.
(5)Many aspects of sexual behavior are or have been regulated by law in various jurisdictions, and various classes of sexual offenses are studied by criminology
(6)Biology (general) and ethology (behavioral) study the sexual behavior of other animals, which can be compared with human sexual behavior
(7)The techniques of evolutionary biology can be brought to bear on the causes of sexual behavior
(8)The epidemiology of sexually transmitted diseases
This is a list of sexologists and notable contributors to the field of sexology, sorted by the year of their birth:
Sex and Muslims; Dr. Heba Kotb, TV sexologist to the Arab world, discusses female pleasure, Islamic sex and curing homosexuality
Veiled by a hijab, Dr. Heba Kotb appears weekly on a hit Arab TV show called "The Big Talk" with a message for Muslims: Have more sex -- and hot sex -- in the name of Allah.
Dr. Kotb, the first licensed sexologist in Egypt, believes that sex is a gift Allah intended for humans; her divine mission is to make sure that they're enjoying it. Every week, viewers throughout the Muslim world flood her station with calls, hoping to have their most intimate questions answered on-air. All sorts of sexual queries are allowed, with one snag: Sexual relations outside of marriage are haram (prohibited by Islam) and not open to discussion.
"On her show, Big Talk, Kotb answers questions from Muslims all over the Middle East about the most intimate bedroom issues with an openness that is shocking and revolutionary in a society where discussing the subject is taboo.
“How do I talk about these issues? Very seriously,” the Egyptian sexologist says. ”I put on a mask-like face and make sure I speak in the right tone of voice,” she adds.
She also does it by talking about sex in an Islamic light, arguing that the faith is in favor of pleasure for both men and women, with one important caveat that it be only in the context of marriage.
“I'm very proud of my religion,” Dr. Kotb said in an interview at Cairo University, where she teaches forensic medicine. “My studies revealed to me more and more how Islam was ahead in all sexual matters ... I discovered that Islam understood sex long before the rest of the world,” she adds.
For example, Islam “stresses the importance of foreplay,” Kotb said, and she often stresses to listeners that women should also enjoy sex. Kotb's frankness is a hit in a region where sex education is minimal, male-female contact is often discouraged and talk on the subject is usually in hushed tones, allowing myths to circulate freely.
She lectured in Saudi Arabia and Yemen recently, where she said many men in the audience where shocked, while women some with veiled faces bombarded her with questions.
Kotb, 39 and married with three daughters, studied sexology at Maimonides University, a private school in Florida, and combined it with her own knowledge of her religion to produce a dissertation titled Sexuality in Islam. She opened a sexology clinic in Cairo in 2002, wrote sex advice columns in newspapers, appeared on talk shows and answered questions on an Arabic website.
She started Big Talk on the independent Egyptian satellite channel El-Mehwar more than two months ago. Much of her advice is straight biology laying out facts rarely aired elsewhere. Nothing is too sensitive. She discusses sexual positions, female orgasm, oral sex (allowed, “since there is no religious text banning it”), even masturbation (frowned upon but at least preferable to unmarried or adulterous sex, which is haram, meaning forbidden by religion).
INTERVIEW WITH DR. HEBA KOTB:
(Condensed version from Salon.com)
A: Not at all. I don’t find any contradictions between religion and sex. You can’t be a human without being sexual.
Q: Do you think there will ever be a program like yours in the Middle East that discusses sex without a religious context?
A: I don’t think there will ever be a secular show. But I also didn’t mean for "Serious Talk" to be a religious show. It’s a delicate balance.
Q: When did you first have this interest in sexuality?
A: I was a resident at Cairo University hospital and had just had my first daughter. I was also working on my first PhD and reading about sexuality and saying, `Oh my God, I’m a doctor and I have my master’s and I’m married and having children, all this and I am just now learning about human sexuality.’ God gave us the gift of being able to have passionate sex. Unlike other animals, sex is not just a function for procreation.
Q: Does your work as a doctor conflict with your religious beliefs? For instance, you insist that homosexuality is strictly a choice, yet the most recent scientific evidence does not support that conclusion.
A: Being a scientific being I know you can go online and find studies that contradict each other. So the only reliable thing in our life is our religion. Very simply it is God who made us and he’s the one who has the owner’s manual. He couldn’t just make a homosexual and also have all religions telling that homosexuals are going to be punished.
Q: We hear you are in great demand in Cairo as a sex therapist.
A: During the summer I expect I will be working 10 hours a day because Egyptian couples who live elsewhere all come back to Cairo on vacation and want to book a session. You’re talking about 75 million people in Egypt, and I am the only therapist with a degree in clinical sexology. I wish Egypt had millions of therapists, I’d be more relaxed. The only others specialists are gynecologists, and they are only seeing the women.
Q: Could your show have happened anywhere but in Egypt?
A: I’m proud to be Egyptian. We are free to be whether one is religious or non-religious. God’s message is there and people are free to act or not act on it.
Q: Are you recognized now in public because of the show?
A: Always. Just now, in the airport, inside the plane and outside, everyone said hello. All of them say they benefit from the show.
(1) Israeli Arab conference of Lesbians convened in Haifa
News released in the past two weeks of plans to hold the conference aroused bitter opposition in the southern branch of the Islamic Movement, members of which demonstrated outside of the Haifa auditorium where the conference was planned. At the conference, participants discussed the difficulties faced by Arab lesbians in dealing with their identities and coming out of the closet.
The participants also spoke of the struggles of lesbians to uncover their sexual identity and of the fear of being harmed. Outside of the auditorium, a demonstration was held by nearly 30 men and women affiliated with the Islamic Movement. "The activity of these women diminishes the value of the human being and their actions are not accepted in the Muslim and Palestinian world," said MK Abbas Zakour (Ra'am-Ta'al), who headed the demonstration.
The Asawat organization said that "listening to the voices of the various groups in Arab society" is the proper response to the opposition. Asawat was founded five years ago by three Arab lesbian women whose stated goal was to raise awareness and to work towards achieving freedom to express lesbianism and homosexuality within Arab society. (HAARETZ.COM)
CIA agents in Afghanistan are using a new weapon in the war on terror … Viagra pills The US intelligence agency are said to be slipping the little blue sex pill to Afghan tribal warlords as a bribe for vital information. The tribal warlords - who can often have four wives - are said to happy to trade the Taliban secrets for a 8-hour erection. Several warlords are understood to be taking the pills but are hoping not to stand out (maybe not the right phrase) to Taliban bosses who would have them killed.
The Cairo couple, who have children and used the pseudonyms Magdy and Samira on the website and in emails, could face up to three years in prison if convicted of facilitating prostitution. Prostitution generally involves transaction of money for sex, but in above, there was no money involved. Instead it was voluntary wife-swapping party.
A student named Natalie Dylan, 22 years old from San Diego, California who is auctioning her virginity to pay for her Masters degree in Family and Marriage therapy has seen bidding hit £2.5million ($3.7m). Her offer of a one-night stand has persuaded ten thousand men to bid for sex with her. The student who has a degree in Women’s Studies insisted she was not demeaning herself. She stated that she was persuaded to offer herself to the highest bidder after her sister Avia, 23, paid for her own degree after working as a prostitute for three weeks.
Hustler magazine entrepreneur Flynt claims adult DVD sales have plummeted in the last 12 months, with figures down 22 per cent from 2007.
He says, “With all this economic misery and people losing all that money, sex is the farthest thing from their mind. It’s time for Congress to rejuvenate the sexual appetite of America.”
Meanwhile, Girls Gone Wild creator Francis is planning to travel to Washington D.C. to make his point heard, because he’s adamant the porn industry is a key part of the U.S. economy - just like the financial and motor institutions.
He tells TMZ.com, “Congress seems willing to help shore up our nation’s most important businesses; we feel we deserve the same consideration.”
Courtesy of IMDB News
Jonathan Alpert, a Manhattan psychotherapist told The Sunday Telegraph that he has seen a threefold increase in the number of Wall Street workers seeking help for their sex addiction as the economic meltdown gathered pace over the last six months.
LONDON, UNITED KINGDOM
Imran Hussain 32, a drunk driver was jailed in the United Kingdom for killing two people after he sped down a highway while masturbating. Imran was driving his powerful 4×4 Audi Q7 car at speeds of up to 120 mph (193 km/h) while he was twice over the legal alcohol limit when he ploughed into the back of a car carrying a 47-year-old man and his wife and son.
“I played the radio, sang and talked to her, even tickled her, but nothing worked,” he told the Liao Sheng Evening Post. “I then recalled someone saying that the feet are the home for many nerves. I wondered if I could wake her up by biting her feet.” He started gently biting her toes and has been doing so regularly for the last 10 years - until she suddenly squeezed his wrist.
SEX EDUCATION IN STATE SCHOOLS: WHAT? WHY? HOW? WHEN? WHO?
- A deeper understanding of Sex and Relationship Education
- What guidelines the Government has set for teaching SRE
- What the repeal of Section 28 means for schools
- The role of the Governing Body, i.e. school governors
- The role of the local community, parents and mosques
- Do parents have the right to opt-out?
- Towards devising a SRE policy suitable to your school
- A sample video of SRE shown in schools
- Relevant practical advice
Timings: 7pm - 9pm, date and venue:
57-59 Trinity Road, Tooting, London SW17 7SD
Tuesday 27th January: West London Islamic Centre & Jamia Masjid,
Brownlow Road, West Ealing, London W13
Wednesday 28th January: Froud Community Centre, Romford Road, Manor Park,
London E12 5JF
Thursday 29th January: Al Manaar - The Muslim Cultural Heritage Centre
244 Acklam Road, London W10 5YG
Friday 30th January: Park Road Youth & Community Centre,
4 Park Road, West Hendon, London NW4 3QB
Saturday 31st January: 6pm - 8pm, Lewisham Islamic Centre, 363-365
Lewisham High Street, Lewisham, London, SE13 6NZ
Please come to this seminar to learn, share and develop a strategy to move forward. You do not need to be a parent or a governor to attend! All welcome and free entrance. However, only confirmation of your attendance will guarantee a seat.
To register or for more information please contact:
Tel: 0845 652 4016
Feel free to contribute your valuable feedback: firstname.lastname@example.org