Thursday, January 1, 2009

Islamic Sexology
Volume 1, January 1, 2008
St. Louis, Missouri

Editors: Mohamed & Rashida Ziauddin

In the name of Allah, Most Gracious and Most Merciful


"Human beings are obsessed with sex. According to psychologists, men think in sex about fifty times per day. That is a lot considering that during most of the day they are supposedly working, studying or doing some other productive activity. Women are not obsessed with sex but they are fixated with love and that ultimately ends up leading to the bed". (

Sex is a primal urge, a natural source of pleasure, a way of physically connecting and expressing love and a deep spiritual experience. If sex is perceived as evil, nakedness and perversion then it is not possible to see it as an experience of bliss, source of pleasure and joy.

Islamic teachings indicate a clear understanding of the nature of man. Holy Quran mentions about man being weak. In many of its beautiful verses, Holy Quran emphasizes the importance of strong bonding between a husband and wife. Knowing the weakness of man, Islamic teachings strongly encourage sincere and frequent zikr (remember of Allah) which helps to steam line and guide the consciousness , intention and behavior in the right path.

Looking at a member of the opposite sex (Stimulus) from a sexual perspective is equally discouraged (failing which the basal instincts of man are activated) possibly leading to one or more problems and/or ongoing dissatisfaction. Continues activation of above stimulus with no transformation of such wishes or fantasies into realistic action may lead to continued subtle personal dissatisfaction and significant increase in sexual frustration. Such a man can never fulfill all his instant sexual wishes and at times may even get into legal problems and possibly end up in jail.

Because sex is a taboo subject for many Muslims, any problems associated with it is literally pushed under the rug and not addressed. This generally results in the problem remaining untreated and silent ongoing suffering continues by the individual/patient with negative consequences.

In terms of problematic sexual behaviors, many Muslims are quick to label the individual with such problems as being "bad" "evil" & influenced by Shaitan and/or having received the curse of Allah.

As Editors of this issue, we strongly encourage the Ummah to see such problems from a CLINICAL perspective that then opens up a myriad of possibilities for being successfully treated. Below is an example under a case study.

In terms of secular model of treatment, Psychotherapist Marek Ruzdziewicz says conventional sex therapy does not address or really consider spiritual aspects of sex. For practicing Muslims who base their life on the gems of Holy Quran and Hadith, the field of Islamic oriented sex therapy is still in the embryonic stage.

Through this E-Zine of ISLAMIC SEXOLOGY whose advisory team consists of an Imam, Sexologist, Psychotherapist, Psychiatrist and Physician, we hope to contribute our two cents worth in the above field.

At the time of the Prophet Muhammad (pbuh), the Sahaabah were not too shy to ask about all affairs, including sexual matters, so as to know the teachings of Islam in these matters. As Aisha (ra), the wife of the Prophet testified, "Blessed are the women of the Ansar. Shyness did not stand in their way of seeking knowledge about their religion." The Messenger of Allah (pbuh) said, "There is no shyness in matters of religion."

We believe that the above applies to sex too, because even a Muslim's sexual health and sexual life (in terms of recommendations such as sexual relations between husband and wife and prohibitions such as Zina are connected to Islam).

As referred to in the earlier paragraph, below is an example to highlight the consequences of ignoring the CLINICAL aspects of problematic sexual behavior.



A young non-practicing Muslim male who was a womanizer, alcoholic, drug addict finally began significantly changing his life in a dramatic new way after he was recommended by a friend to go out of town with tabligh jamaat. To many of those who knew him real well, his positive change was almost a miracle, thanks to the mercy and blessings of Allah he stopped above vices and seemed to move towards becoming a practicing Muslim.

However on one particular trip that he made with his tabligh jamaat members, while asleep within the Mosque close to his tabligh jamaat brothers, he made inappropriate sexual moves towards a brother who was sleeping next to him. This created problems between the brother and others within the tabligh group and the Amir (leader) expelled him from the group accusing him of being under the influence of Shaitan.

The brother felt humiliated, disappointed and stressed leading to his complete disassociation from his local Tabligh jamaat. Having historically learnt to cope with stress by resorting to alcohol and drugs, he again relapsed and went back to his old vices.


Did the Ameer make the right decision to expel the brother from the tabligh jamaat ? Was the brother under the influence of Shaitan OR was the Ameer lacking the clinical knowledge to understand the clinical problem that the brother had ? If it was a clinical issue, was it fair for the brother to have received a punitive response ? Last but not the least, did the brother suffer from SEXSOMNIA (making sexual advances towards another person while asleep).


Understanding Sexsomnia:

Everyone has heard of the sleepwalker, the sleep eater and the sleep talker. However, there is another sleep disorder that people are less likely to discuss: sexsomnia.

What is Sexsomnia?

Sexsomnia, also called sex sleep, was first identified in 1996 and is a classified sleep disorder characterized as a non-rapid-eye-movement (N-REM) parasomnia. (A parasomnia is a disorder characterized by partial arousal during sleep or during transitions between wake and sleep.)

People who experience sexsomnia engage in sex while sleeping, though they have no memory of their actions once they wake up. The intensity of this sleep sex varies, with some sexsomnia victims merely moaning and groping, and others engaging in sexual activity either with themselves or with another person in the bed. On the extreme end of the scale are those who become violent and dangerous while performing sexual acts.

Specific causes of the disorder are unknown, but some scientists believe that there is a genetic component involved with sexsomnia. Research also suggests that sleep sex is caused by a genuine sleep disorder combined with other emotional problems.

Who Suffers from Sexsomnia?

Researchers believe that sexsomnia affects between one-tenth to one percent of the population, although this estimate might not be accurate, since so many people are too ashamed to seek help. At the present time, it is believed that mostly adult men suffer from the disorder.

Effects of Sexsomnia

It is important to seek medical help for this condition, as a sufferer may experience many negative emotions, including:

  • anger
  • confusion
  • denial
  • fear
  • frustration
  • guilt
  • repulsion
  • shame.

These negative emotions often lead to tremendous stress.
Clearly, relationships are put to the test when couples have to deal with this awkward and sometimes dangerous problem. Also, many sexsomnia sufferers are concerned about legal issues, as sexual advances occurring during sleep can be unwanted and violent.

"Addressing triggering factors - stress or sleep deprivation - can help, while Michael Mangan, a psychologist at the University of New Hampshire in the US has set up a website to help sufferers.

Meanwhile, Trajanovic is devising a procedure for diagnosing sexsomnia in legal cases where sufferers have been accused of sexual assault".

Treatment of Sexsomnia:

Treatment for sexsomnia may combine medication, therapy and lifestyle changes. Triggers, such as stress and alcohol, should be avoided. Lifestyle changes, to help reduce stress and anxiety, may also be incorporated into a personal program to best fit an individual's specific needs. Additionally, doctors may prescribe the drug clonazepam, which has been effective for some individuals suffering from this parasomnia.

Sexsomnia is a chronic condition, and, therefore, treatment is essential. Seeking help can increase awareness and understanding and can help both individuals and couples deal with this disorder in a constructive and understanding way.

As we could see from the above case study, a Muslim brother who reformed himself from the real shaitan elements of the society had ultimately due to ignorance ended up being branded to be under the influence of the shaitan.

To better understand Islamic Sexology, it would be appropriate to initially understand the history of Sexology, its relations to a number of other fields and notable sexologists. Many people, as individuals and as couples, experience some type of sexual functioning issue. Sex therapy may not be the first treatment option that comes to mind, especially for younger people, but it can be a very effective tool in dealing with such issues. Dr. Chris Kraft, a clinical psychologist and the clinical director of the Johns Hopkins Center for Sexual Health in Baltimore, Maryland, says that "sex therapy is a pretty broad category."

More information about sex therapy (including a tool for locating a therapist or counselor in your area) can be found through the American Association of Sex Counselors, Educators, and Therapists


A number of ancient sex manuals exist, including Ovid's Ars Amatoria, the Kama Sutra of Vatsyayana, the Ananga Ranga and The Perfumed Garden for the Soul's Recreation. However, none of these treated sex as the subject of a formal field of scientific or medical research. One of the earliest sex researchers prior to the 20th century sexology movement was Richard Freiherr von Krafft-Ebing, whose book Psychopathia Sexualis, published in 1886, recorded a dizzying array of sexual anomalies.

In the late 19th and early 20th centuries, Sigmund Freud developed a theory of sexuality] based on his studies of his clients. Wilhelm Reich and Otto Gross, were disciples of Freud, but rejected by him because of their emphasis of the role of sexuality for the revolutionary struggle for the emancipation of mankind. Magnus Hirschfeld founded the Institut für Sexualwissenschaft (Institute for Sexology) in Berlin in 1919. When the Nazis took power, one of their first actions, on May 6, 1933, was to destroy the Institute and burn the library.

In 1947, Alfred Kinsey founded the Institute for Sex Research at Indiana University at Bloomington, now called the Kinsey Institute for Research in Sex, Gender and Reproduction. Masters and Johnson released their works Human Sexual Response in 1966 and Human Sexual Inadequacy in 1970. Their books sold well, and they were founders of what became to be known as the Masters & Johnson Institute in 1978.

Fritz Klein developed the Klein Sexual Orientation Grid a multi-dimensional system for describing complex sexual orientation, similar to the Kinsey scale, but measuring seven different vectors of sexual orientation and identity separately, and allowing for change over time.

In 1978 Klein published The Bisexual Option, a groundbreaking psychological study of bisexuality and in 1998, he founded the American Institute of Bisexuality (AIB) to encourage, support and assist research and education about bisexuality.

The late Vern Bullough was a historian of sexology, as well as a researcher in the field.

Sexology, as currently defined, is largely a 20th and 21st century phenomenon.
Sexology relates to a number of other fields of study:

(1) Several fields of medicine, including andrology, gynaecology, and the anatomy of the sex organs

(2)The psychology, sociology, and anthropology of sexual behavior

(3)Neuroscience can be used to study many basic sexual reflexes, and is increasingly relevant to studying more complex sexual preferences and behaviors

(4)Psychiatry studies paraphilia, as well as disorders of sexual behavior when they impact on clinical conditions or reach a point where they become dysfunctional or sources of psychological difficulty.

(5)Many aspects of sexual behavior are or have been regulated by law in various jurisdictions, and various classes of sexual offenses are studied by criminology

(6)Biology (general) and ethology (behavioral) study the sexual behavior of other animals, which can be compared with human sexual behavior

(7)The techniques of evolutionary biology can be brought to bear on the causes of sexual behavior

(8)The epidemiology of sexually transmitted diseases

Sexology also touches on public issues such as the debates over abortion, public health, birth control, sexual abuse and reproductive technology.

This is a list of sexologists and notable contributors to the field of sexology, sorted by the year of their birth:



Dr. Heba Kotb: A leading Professional in the field of ISLAMIC SEXOLOGY:

Sex and Muslims; Dr. Heba Kotb, TV sexologist to the Arab world, discusses female pleasure, Islamic sex and curing homosexuality

Veiled by a hijab, Dr. Heba Kotb appears weekly on a hit Arab TV show called "The Big Talk" with a message for Muslims: Have more sex -- and hot sex -- in the name of Allah.

Dr. Kotb
, the first licensed sexologist in Egypt, believes that sex is a gift Allah intended for humans; her divine mission is to make sure that they're enjoying it. Every week, viewers throughout the Muslim world flood her station with calls, hoping to have their most intimate questions answered on-air. All sorts of sexual queries are allowed, with one snag: Sexual relations outside of marriage are haram (prohibited by Islam) and not open to discussion.

"On her show, Big Talk, Kotb answers questions from Muslims all over the Middle East about the most intimate bedroom issues with an openness that is shocking and revolutionary in a society where discussing the subject is taboo.

“How do I talk about these issues? Very seriously,” the Egyptian sexologist says. ”I put on a mask-like face and make sure I speak in the right tone of voice,” she adds.

She also does it by talking about sex in an Islamic light, arguing that the faith is in favor of pleasure for both men and women, with one important caveat that it be only in the context of marriage.

“I'm very proud of my religion,” Dr. Kotb said in an interview at Cairo University, where she teaches forensic medicine. “My studies revealed to me more and more how Islam was ahead in all sexual matters ... I discovered that Islam understood sex long before the rest of the world,” she adds.

For example, Islam “stresses the importance of foreplay,” Kotb said, and she often stresses to listeners that women should also enjoy sex. Kotb's frankness is a hit in a region where sex education is minimal, male-female contact is often discouraged and talk on the subject is usually in hushed tones, allowing myths to circulate freely.

She lectured in Saudi Arabia and Yemen recently, where she said many men in the audience where shocked, while women some with veiled faces bombarded her with questions.

Kotb, 39 and married with three daughters, studied sexology at Maimonides University, a private school in Florida, and combined it with her own knowledge of her religion to produce a dissertation titled Sexuality in Islam. She opened a sexology clinic in Cairo in 2002, wrote sex advice columns in newspapers, appeared on talk shows and answered questions on an Arabic website.

She started Big Talk on the independent Egyptian satellite channel El-Mehwar more than two months ago. Much of her advice is straight biology laying out facts rarely aired elsewhere. Nothing is too sensitive. She discusses sexual positions, female orgasm, oral sex (allowed, “since there is no religious text banning it”), even masturbation (frowned upon but at least preferable to unmarried or adulterous sex, which is haram, meaning forbidden by religion).


(Condensed version from

Q: You are a devout Muslim. Does that conflict with an open discussion of sexuality?

A: Not at all. I don’t find any contradictions between religion and sex. You can’t be a human without being sexual.

Q: Do you think there will ever be a program like yours in the Middle East that discusses sex without a religious context?

A: I don’t think there will ever be a secular show. But I also didn’t mean for "Serious Talk" to be a religious show. It’s a delicate balance.

Q: When did you first have this interest in sexuality?

A: I was a resident at Cairo University hospital and had just had my first daughter. I was also working on my first PhD and reading about sexuality and saying, `Oh my God, I’m a doctor and I have my master’s and I’m married and having children, all this and I am just now learning about human sexuality.’ God gave us the gift of being able to have passionate sex. Unlike other animals, sex is not just a function for procreation.

Q: Does your work as a doctor conflict with your religious beliefs? For instance, you insist that homosexuality is strictly a choice, yet the most recent scientific evidence does not support that conclusion.

A: Being a scientific being I know you can go online and find studies that contradict each other. So the only reliable thing in our life is our religion. Very simply it is God who made us and he’s the one who has the owner’s manual. He couldn’t just make a homosexual and also have all religions telling that homosexuals are going to be punished.

Q: We hear you are in great demand in Cairo as a sex therapist.

A: During the summer I expect I will be working 10 hours a day because Egyptian couples who live elsewhere all come back to Cairo on vacation and want to book a session. You’re talking about 75 million people in Egypt, and I am the only therapist with a degree in clinical sexology. I wish Egypt had millions of therapists, I’d be more relaxed. The only others specialists are gynecologists, and they are only seeing the women.

Q: Could your show have happened anywhere but in Egypt?

A: I’m proud to be Egyptian. We are free to be whether one is religious or non-religious. God’s message is there and people are free to act or not act on it.

Q: Are you recognized now in public because of the show?

A: Always. Just now, in the airport, inside the plane and outside, everyone said hello. All of them say they benefit from the show.


(1) Israeli Arab conference of Lesbians convened in Haifa
(condensed version) By Fadi Edayat, Haaretz Correspondent

The conference of Israeli Arab lesbians was held in Haifa by the organization Asawat ("Voices"). The discussions dealt with homosexuality in the Arab public and what they referred to as "triple discrimination" of being women, lesbian and Arab in Israel.

News released in the past two weeks of plans to hold the conference aroused bitter opposition in the southern branch of the Islamic Movement, members of which demonstrated outside of the Haifa auditorium where the conference was planned. At the conference, participants discussed the difficulties faced by Arab lesbians in dealing with their identities and coming out of the closet.

The participants also spoke of the struggles of lesbians to uncover their sexual identity and of the fear of being harmed. Outside of the auditorium, a demonstration was held by nearly 30 men and women affiliated with the Islamic Movement. "The activity of these women diminishes the value of the human being and their actions are not accepted in the Muslim and Palestinian world," said MK Abbas Zakour (Ra'am-Ta'al), who headed the demonstration.

The Asawat organization said that "listening to the voices of the various groups in Arab society" is the proper response to the opposition. Asawat was founded five years ago by three Arab lesbian women whose stated goal was to raise awareness and to work towards achieving freedom to express lesbianism and homosexuality within Arab society. (HAARETZ.COM)



CIA agents in Afghanistan are using a new weapon in the war on terror … Viagra pills
The US intelligence agency are said to be slipping the little blue sex pill to Afghan tribal warlords as a bribe for vital information. The tribal warlords - who can often have four wives - are said to happy to trade the Taliban secrets for a 8-hour erection. Several warlords are understood to be taking the pills but are hoping not to stand out (maybe not the right phrase) to Taliban bosses who would have them killed.


CAIRO, EGYPT - A human rights group in Egypt slammed police for snooping on couples accused of wife-swapping in the conservative nation and arresting them on prostitution charges. A 48-year-old civil servant and his teacher wife, 37, were detained last week for allegedly organising wife-swapping parties and orgies via a website run by an Iraqi Kurd.

The Cairo couple, who have children and used the pseudonyms Magdy and Samira on the website and in emails, could face up to three years in prison if convicted of facilitating prostitution. Prostitution generally involves transaction of money for sex, but in above, there was no money involved. Instead it was voluntary wife-swapping party.


Student Auctions Off her Virginity for Offers of More Than £2.5 Million

A student named Natalie Dylan, 22 years old from San Diego, California who is auctioning her virginity to pay for her Masters degree in Family and Marriage therapy has seen bidding hit £2.5million ($3.7m). Her offer of a one-night stand has persuaded ten thousand men to bid for sex with her. The student who has a degree in Women’s Studies insisted she was not demeaning herself. She stated that she was persuaded to offer herself to the highest bidder after her sister Avia, 23, paid for her own degree after working as a prostitute for three weeks.


(5) Princes of Porn Ask Congress For Help

WASHINGTON, D.C.– Porn moguls Larry Flynt and Joe Francis are appealing to the U.S. Congress to grant the adult entertainment industry a $5 billion bail out - because it is suffering from the global economic meltdown just as much as others.

Hustler magazine entrepreneur Flynt claims adult DVD sales have plummeted in the last 12 months, with figures down 22 per cent from 2007.

He says, “With all this economic misery and people losing all that money, sex is the farthest thing from their mind. It’s time for Congress to rejuvenate the sexual appetite of America.”

Meanwhile, Girls Gone Wild creator Francis is planning to travel to Washington D.C. to make his point heard, because he’s adamant the porn industry is a key part of the U.S. economy - just like the financial and motor institutions.

He tells, “Congress seems willing to help shore up our nation’s most important businesses; we feel we deserve the same consideration.”
Courtesy of IMDB News

(6) Financial Crisis: Falling Markets Lead to Rise in Sex Addiction on Wall Street

Wall Street financiers have been driven to sex addiction by the financial crisis, according to New York psychotherapists, who report that stressed out bankers are swapping the thrill of making money for making love instead Depressed by plunging share prices, bankers with compulsive personalities are using massage parlours, prostitutes and strip joints to raise their spirits.

Jonathan Alpert, a Manhattan psychotherapist told The Sunday Telegraph that he has seen a threefold increase in the number of Wall Street workers seeking help for their sex addiction as the economic meltdown gathered pace over the last six months.



Imran Hussain 32, a drunk driver was jailed in the United Kingdom for killing two people after he sped down a highway while masturbating. Imran was driving his powerful 4×4 Audi Q7 car at speeds of up to 120 mph (193 km/h) while he was twice over the legal alcohol limit when he ploughed into the back of a car carrying a 47-year-old man and his wife and son.

Manchester Crown Court heard that motorists who came to Hussain’s aid afterwards saw that his penis was partially exposed, the Press Association reported.

(8) (How can below dedicated husband's patience, perseverence and deviations go unnoticed ?)

Foot Fetish Wakes his wife who was in Coma for ten years:

SHENYANG, CHINA - A Chinese man successfully woke his wife from a coma after 10 years - by biting her toes. Zhang Kui, of Shenyang, says he tried everything he could think of to wake his wife after she suffered a head injury in an industrial accident.

“I played the radio, sang and talked to her, even tickled her, but nothing worked,” he told the Liao Sheng Evening Post. “I then recalled someone saying that the feet are the home for many nerves. I wondered if I could wake her up by biting her feet.”
He started gently biting her toes and has been doing so regularly for the last 10 years - until she suddenly squeezed his wrist.

(9) The Association of Muslim Governors [AMG] presents a London Roadshow in association with the following Mosques and Islamic centres on :


Last autumn the Government announced that lessons about Sex and Relationship Education (SRE) will be compulsory in all of England's schools from the ages of 5 to 16. As Muslim parents, teachers and school governors this subject has always been an uncomfortable one. On the one hand, we are aware of falling moral standards with the UK having the highest teenage pregnancy rate in Western Europe. On the other hand, there is a lack of response from the Muslim community, leading to our children developing dual personalities. Amid this chaotic picture there are growing calls to teach this at an even earlier age.

This workshop will cover:

- A deeper understanding of Sex and Relationship Education
- What guidelines the Government has set for teaching SRE
- What the repeal of Section 28 means for schools
- The role of the Governing Body, i.e. school governors
- The role of the local community, parents and mosques
- Do parents have the right to opt-out?
- Towards devising a SRE policy suitable to your school
- A sample video of SRE shown in schools
- Relevant practical advice

Timings: 7pm - 9pm, date and venue:

Monday 26th January: Wandsworth Asian Community Centre
57-59 Trinity Road, Tooting, London SW17 7SD

Tuesday 27th January: West London Islamic Centre & Jamia Masjid,
Brownlow Road, West Ealing, London W13

Wednesday 28th January: Froud Community Centre, Romford Road, Manor Park,
London E12 5JF

Thursday 29th January: Al Manaar - The Muslim Cultural Heritage Centre
244 Acklam Road, London W10 5YG

Friday 30th January: Park Road Youth & Community Centre,
4 Park Road, West Hendon, London NW4 3QB

Saturday 31st January: 6pm - 8pm, Lewisham Islamic Centre, 363-365
Lewisham High Street, Lewisham, London, SE13 6NZ

Please come to this seminar to learn, share and develop a strategy to move forward. You do not need to be a parent or a governor to attend! All welcome and free entrance. However, only confirmation of your attendance will guarantee a seat.

To register or for more information please contact:

Tel: 0845 652 4016


(Ed Note: Islamic teachings emphasize the importance of marriage and recommend early marriage if feasible. In the sexual arena, Islam as a religion has one of the best system of checks and balances in terms of encouraging Muslims to enjoy sex but within the guidelines of being in a halal union of husband and wife).

( A Turkish bride)

LOVERS know only too well that men usually need a "recovery period" after orgasm, and that sexual intercourse with orgasm is more satisfying than an orgasm from masturbation alone. Now scientists think the two phenomena might be linked. Following orgasm, the hormone prolactin is released into the bloodstream in both men and women. The hormone makes us feel satiated by countering the effect of dopamine, which is released during sexual arousal.

Stuart Brody of the University of Paisley, UK, and Tillmann Krüger of the Swiss Federal Institute of Technology in Zurich, measured blood prolactin levels in male and female volunteers who watched erotic films before engaging in masturbation or sexual intercourse to orgasm in the laboratory. Surprisingly, after orgasm from sexual intercourse, the increase in blood prolactin levels is 400 per cent higher in both sexes compared with after orgasm from masturbation (Biological Psychology, vol 71, p 312).

This explains why orgasm from intercourse is more satisfying than masturbation, says Brody. Since elevated levels of prolactin have been linked to erectile dysfunction, this may also explain why most men need a recovery period after sex.

(Wow, so they are also reading "Islamic Sexology")

Feel free to contribute your valuable feedback: